clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
