Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
