Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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