Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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