i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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