I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
