I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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