I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
