Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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