You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
