Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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