thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
