I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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