So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I faked an abortion last night.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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