These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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