Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
