I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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