im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
