she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
When are your genitals available?
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