for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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