Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
