If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the day after is always just damage control
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
