Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
