all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
