Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
