dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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