She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
