my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize