I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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