Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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