Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
