The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
