Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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