I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
