I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
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I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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