oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
