Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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