whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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