Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
How external is "for external use only"?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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