One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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