I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
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I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
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