yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
