We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
