ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
