I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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