In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
