Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
