Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
