I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
