She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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