it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
