dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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