yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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