I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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