The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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