So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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