i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
