Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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