I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
