This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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